As much as you love your toddler, parenting your young child can sometimes be frazzling and stressful! Factor in that you might be a stay-at-home parent – on call 24 hours a day – and some days might make you feel like a ticking time bomb! But take heart! Relief is only a few steps away.
Why Toddlers Have Meltdowns.
Toddlers have meltdowns and tantrums because they are still learning to manage their emotions and communicate their needs effectively. They may not have the language skills to express themselves clearly or the cognitive ability to understand and regulate their feelings. Additionally, they may be feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by their environment or situation. As parents, it is important to understand that meltdowns are a normal part of a toddler's development and not a reflection of poor parenting. By remaining calm and patient, we can help our little ones learn to cope with their emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
Try these tips to diffuse your toddler’s tantrums, or at least help you cope more positively:
1. This one is so simple!
We do it automatically. Yet, in moments of stress, we tense up and almost seem to hold our breath. If you can catch yourself and notice the tension in your body, then you can remember to breathe out.
- Inhale a long, powerful breath of air. Close your eyes and feel the oxygen rushing to every cell of your body, rejuvenating and filling you with positive energy.
- Almost immediately, you’ll notice your muscles relaxing and your face softening. The emotional effects will be palpable, too. You may find that you can look upon the situation not with tired frustration, but with compassion.
2. Let them be.
If the environment is safe and you’re at home, sometimes it can be therapeutic for your little one if you just let them have their tantrum. Be calm, and let them cry it out. Eventually, they’ll realize that throwing their fit doesn’t have the effect they wanted, and they’ll usually stop relying on this tactic.
3. It’s not personal.
Remember, your toddler isn’t purposely doing anything to you. You are simply the observer of their actions as they try to figure out how they can get what they want. They are stretching their boundaries and exploring their world.
- If we can remember we are observers and not the intended receivers, we can approach the situation more calmly, thus reducing or eliminating the stress.
4. Stay in the moment.
So many times, frustration arises because our minds want the moment to go differently. Maybe you desperately need to vacuum the floor or get that last load of laundry done. Instead, go with the flow. Recognize that you can make time for the chores later and know that it is okay.
- Your child will never be at this precious stage in their life ever again. What would you rather remember looking back on these early years? All the piles of clothes you folded or the treasured memories you made with your little one?
5. Nurture Yourself, Too:
To best be there for your children, you have to be there for yourself as well. That means nurturing your body, mind, and spirit. When all three of these needs are met, it’s easier to handle stressful situations such as toddler meltdowns.
How can you nurture your own needs?
- Eat a balanced diet of nutrient dense proteins, fruits, and vegetables.
- Make time for yourself. Even during a child’s naptime you can nurture yourself. Avoid doing chores during this time. Instead, do something that rejuvenates you. For example, take a nap, read a book, watch a movie, meditate, or talk with a friend. Doing something that makes you feel like you (and not only a mommy) does wonders for your psyche!
- Feelings of frustration are normal. Talking with a friend can help you sort out what you’re feeling and come up with ideas to see these emotions for what they are.
- Listen to positive affirmation: Listening to positive affirmations can be a powerful way to improve one's mindset and emotional well-being, which in turn can help you better handle the stresses of parenting, including toddler meltdowns. Positive affirmations can help you cultivate a more positive outlook, build self-confidence, and reduce negative self-talk. This might be a new self-care practice for you that can help you feel more calm and centered during challenging moments with your little one.
These are just a few ideas. Feel free to use them as a springboard to your own unique solutions. It never hurts to keep looking for ways we can be better parents to our next generation.
If you can incorporate some of these tips into your daily parenting life, in moments of toddler meltdowns, you can guide your little one with patience. Instead of reacting with negativity to the tantrum, you will be in a position to offer love and comfort.